Why is it so very hard?

We gave away our dog because she was too rowdy. That was hard.

My granny died when I was 8. That very hard.

My best friend moved away.... far away... that still is very hard, but what seems to be harder than that, is understanding. Why is it so hard? I pray; I read my Bible. Do I really have a lack of interest? Certainly not.... I want to be what God wants me to be, and I want to walk on the right path.

I've considered starting a Bible study for some of my middle school friends. I think it would be good for everyone. The girls, because they would be able to gather and learn with each other. Me, because I'd get to experience the lessons on a deeper level. I'll have to more than learn what I'm wanting to teach. But maybe I'm not ready to teach a class. Maybe it's not time. I'm wodnering if I should go ahead and do the Bible study, or do I wait until I've grown as a Christian more. Oh.... Why is it so very hard!!!!!

I will tell you, if you will listen.

So, I was talking with God the other day, and I'm going through my normal,

"God please help David, and please help Daniel, and please help Tara...."

Then I remembered all the help I needed.

"Oh! And God please help me!"

Well, things started becoming really hard on me. One thing lead to another and each day got harder and harder to move on. I wanted to cry and scream. I had no idea what was going on with me! Friends leaving me left and right, I was losing interest in things that I had always cared about. I recieved no acceptence anywhere. My friends left me; my church depressed me; my family irked me. I had no idea what to do. Fianlly I yelled,

"GOD WHAT DO I DO!"

Except this time He didn't give me seen solution. All He said was, I will tell you if you will listen. I didn't know how to listen. It had nevered occured to me that I wasn't listening. I was completely ignoring what God was telling me to do.

Well when I finally gave up, God gave me my friends back. Not only did I have a couple of good, stable friends who really cared about me, I had peace. A deep satifying peace that I had never gotten from anything else ever before. I know this kind of peace only comes from God. The world still hurts. Things happen everyday that I don't think I can live through, but with Jesus on my side I know all I have to do is give up. Jesus will take care of the rest. God told me; I listened. Now, I told you. Did you listen?